Choosing Our Religion

For a few years, I've been feeling like I needed to make some sort of spiritual connection. I wanted to feel a part of something larger. I wanted to feel the spark of connectedness.

Jane gets some of those needs met in her program of recovery, and we both get some in our chosen family, but I wanted church. Paganism hasn't really worked for me. We belonged to a naked, pagan camp for a few years, and while everyone was lovely, it just didn't fit. It was a little airy fairy for me. They did things like put some sparkly garbage around a tree and called it an altar. There was also too much drugs and alcohol around for our taste. But man can those motherfuckers build great big fires. I miss that.

We went to the Lutheran church of my childhood a few times. The neighborhood where I grew up is poverty-stricken and most of the folks in attendance were older and, truth be told, we just didn't have much in common. So, although it met our social justice needs, not so much for the sense of connection and community I was looking for.

This past Sunday we attended the service at our local Unitarian Church. I had been reluctant because it seemed more like a political movement. Jane had gone to a different church and found it to be just folks sitting around talking. This one wasn't like that and I have to say, it really worked for me. It had enough ritual in it to satisfy the need for it to be 'churchy'. It isn't teeny-tiny so they weren't pouncing on us in an attempt to recruit, but they were friendly. The people looked like feminists and hippies. The kids were cute and happy and the teens were hip.

I cried when they read the Unitarian principles during the service. I realized that it's important to me now that if we're going to join something we can't be fighting about queerness all of the time. Even in a supportive parish, you are aware that the official doctrine "hates the sin but loves the sinner" or some other bullshit. When I read this or this, I realize I want to be somewhere where I don't have to fight anyone and where everyone has my back all the way up the fucking ladder.

I dug it. And they sold pounds of organic coffee afterwards to raise money so all the hip kids can go to Boston and get whatever it is that Unitarians call confirmed. It was Hazlenut. Smooth and delicious.